Friday, August 5, 2011
I'm on a Diet
Jack Sh*t – get your comments ready.
Weight’s about to go down.
Everybody in the place shut your freakin’ mouth,
And lace up your mother-joggin’ shoes.
We running today, let’s go!
I’m on a diet, I’m on a diet.
Everybody look at me,
‘Cause I’m sticking to my diet.
I’m on a diet, I’m on a diet.
Take a good hard look
At my blubber-bustin’ diet.
I’m on a diet, blubber-blogger, take a look at me.
Losing pounds on this diet, that’s my guarantee.
Working out, dawg, don’t wanna keep it private.
Look at me, blogger brothers, ‘cause I’m on a diet .
Yeah, I was too thick,
I’m on a diet, bitch.
I got some healthy fruits and veggies
All up in my fridge.
I got my running shoes,
And my running buddies,
While other folks are channel-surfin’,
Loading up their tummies.
I’m working at the gym,
Doing lunges and sh*t.
I keep on jogging,
Til’ my shirt's all wet .
Not in my Lazy-Boy - I’m gettin’ all fit.
I’m on a diet, salad-eaters, and my name’s Jack Sh*t!
I’m on a diet and,
Got a new game plan.
Just ate some yogurt that I topped with lots of wheat bran.
I’m the king of the scale, like I’m on the Biggest Loser.
Feeling pretty good now, know I got a healthy future.
Get the f*ck up, this diet is real!
Eat candy? I’m on a diet, blubber-blogger !
Eat chips? I’m eating fruit, blubber-blogger!
Rockin’ out my birthday suit, blubber-blogger!
I’m finally givin’ a toot, blubber-blogger!
Hey ma, if you could see me now ,
Since I’m not eating as much as a cow .
Gonna take this diet to goal weight somehow.
Like Jillian says, “You gotta keep going!”
Yeah, never thought I’d be on a diet .
And I think, you too, ought to try it.
My weigh-in, look at that, OH!
Never thought I’d see the day,
Looking forward to what I weigh.
Believe me when I say,
“The hell with the buffet!”
I’m on a diet, I’m on a diet.
Everybody look at me
'Cause I’m finally on a diet.
I’m on a diet, I’m on a diet.
Take a good hard look
At the blubber-busting diet.
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