Friday, May 27, 2011

My Birthday Survival Plan

Tomorrow's my birthday, so if you're planning on throwing me a surprise party (and I'm not saying that you SHOULD be planning on throwing me a surprise party because I hate surprise parties), but if you ARE thinking about throwing me a surprise party, you'd better get going. YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

Anyway, I'm too busy practicing looking surprised in the mirror to actually write something new, so here's my to-do list from my last birthday, which I'm planning on following through on again...
  • Don’t eat my age in waffles for breakfast
  • Call in “old” at work
  • Rue all the mistakes I’ve made in my life
  • Update "to-do" list with new mistakes
  • Celebrate my B25K completion this year (“Birth to 5K”)
  • Only track 1 out of every 10 calories I consume today
  • Sell whatever present my mom gets me on ebay
  • Say my prayers and take my vitamins like professional wrestler Hulk Hogan said I should
  • Work out in my birthday suit
  • Take a big bowl of fat-free ice cream, flush it down the toilet and enjoy a bowl of the good stuff
  • Drag out a pair of fat pants and thank heaven they no longer fit
  • Use my “Get Out of One Workout Free” card
  • “Afternoon delight,” if you know what I mean (yes, I mean a nap)
  • Drink plenty of water… among other beverages
  • Get 100 comments on my birthday post (*hint hint*)
  • Strip karaoke
  • Keep trying to convince myself that age is just a number
  • Eat healthy, eat less, exercise... starting tomorrow
  • Don’t even bother making a wish before blowing out the candles; they’ve all already come true
Speaking of surprises... you can get an extra helping of sh*t today by checking out my guest post at Lisa Johnson Fitness.

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