Ways to Make More Time for Exercise

• Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner all at the same time

• Use a shampoo with conditioner in it… and toothpaste… and floss
  
  
• DVR your favorite shows and watch them at 12x speed
  
  
• During arguments with your spouse, agree to any damn thing just to get it over with quickly
  
  
• Learn the ancient art of speed sleeping
  
  
• Continuously move West into new time zones
  
  
• Don’t waste time dragging out the Bat-signal; go right for the Bat-phone!
  
  
• Hire a nice lady to clean your house and a dashing young man to do all the yardwork (I’m assuming that you’re filthy rich, of course)
  
  
• Turn off the internet
  
  
• Keep an ongoing list of people who have wronged you and exact your revenge all at one time (preferably at a party where they’re all in attendance)
  
  
• Order steak medium rare instead of well done
  
  
• If you’re on a highway where the speed limit is 60 mph, and you drive one mile per hour faster, it’ll save you 60 seconds for every hour you drive. That can really add up!
  
  
• Combine activities, such as paying bills and showering
  
  
• Tired of wasting time sitting in the waiting room at the vet? Spay your pets yourself (I can walk you through it… okay, first you’ll need an application to veterinary school…)
  
  
• Instead of “you’re”, always just type “your” – everyone knows it means the same thing!
  
  
• Instead of stepping on a scale, just “guesstimate” your weight
  
  
• When helping your child with math homework, just make up answers to get through it fast
  
  
• Lather and rinse, but do not repeat; I repeat, DO NOT REPEAT.
  
  
• Do some research of which religion has the fastest church services and go with that one
  
  
• Observe “Double Daylight Savings Time”
  
  
• Stop churning your own butter and start buying it at grocery store
  
  
• Wash and dry your laundry at the same time
  
  
• Once a week, have Pop-Tart dinner night
  
  
• Install a shredder in your mailbox
  
  
• Quit reading Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit