Intro: This is a song, that uh, there's a lot of Christmas songs out there, but not too many about Hanukkah, so I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don't get to hear any Hanukkah songs. Here we go...
Put on your yarmulke, here comes Hanukkah.
It's so much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah.
Hanukkah is the festival of lights,
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree,
Here's a list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me:
David Lee Roth lights the menorah.
So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah.
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli:
Bowzer from Sha-Na-Na, and Arthur Fonzerrelli.
Paul Newman's half Jewish; Goldie Hawn's half too.
Put them together--what a fine lookin' Jew!
You don't need deck the halls or jingle bell rock
Cause you can spin the dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock--both Jewish!
Put on your yarmulke, it's time for Hanukkah,
The owner of the Seattle Super Sonic-ahs celebrates Hanukkah.
O.J. Simpson-- not a Jew!
But guess who is...hall of famer Rod Carew--(he converted!)
(this is an error; Carew married a Jewish woman, but he did not convert to Judaism)
We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby,
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish--not too shabby!
(This is an error; Ford's mother is actually fully Jewish.)
Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is,
Well, he's not, but guess who is! All three Stooges.
So many Jews are in the show biz-a--
Tom Cruise isn't, (but I heard his agent is-a).
Tell your friend Veronica, it's time you celebrate Hanukkah.
I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Hanukkah.
So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, but don't smoke your mara-juanic-ah,
If you really, really wanna-kah, have a happy, happy, happy, happy
Hanukkah! Happy Hanukkah!
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