Rinky-Dink

So... 

I'm taking Pisa and her pal roller skating last Saturday since she's been such a great kid and my wife Anita's seeing-eye monkey. Usually, when I take her and her friends skating, I get comfortable and spend a couple of hours farting around on my laptop.

 

But this time, Pisa asks how come I never go skating, too. I realize that I talk quite a bit about how one of the great benefits to living a more fit life is not having to sit on the sidelines, so...

 It's time to lace 'em up and show Pisa that her old man is still The Wheel Deal.

 Okay, this doesn't feel quite as stable as they did when I was thirteen. Was this a mistake or simply a bad idea?

 I tell the lady sitting at the table near our stuff to do me a solid and get ready to dial "911"...

I say a quick prayer to the Disco Gods to give me skill, balance and dexterity.

 Oh yeah, the kid's still got it. Did you know skating burns 350 calories per hour?

 Ten times around the track and I've only knocked down three little kids. Don't worry--I'll knock down more when I fully get my balance.

 Great! Pisa's skating backwards on her stupid inline skates! Better show her something she CAN'T do...

 

 Get up a load of speed and... WHOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA!

"Ummmm, Dad? Maybe you oughta go sit down over there and fart around on your laptop for a while."

.