Lose Yourself (Some Weight)

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To lose all the weight you ever wanted - one chance.
Would you go on and do it or just let it slip?

Yeah,
Fat rolls are sweaty, knees weak, belly heavy.
Given up on his diet already, damn spaghetti.
Got frustrated and polished off the apple brown betty.
He drops F-bombs, from the Lazy-Boy where he’s lazing.
Throws down his plate, curses all the food that he ate.
He’s so irate, can’t get his life straight.
He's sighing now, thinking about crying now.
Weight’s gone up, time’s up over, bloat!

Snap - back to the dieting, time for belt-tightening.
Oh, there goes Jackie, he’s stoked.
He's so fat, but he won't give up that
Easy, no.
He won't have it, he knows his whole life he must alter
Must be strong, he can’t falter.
Be the rock of Gibralter.
He’s gotta go so he goes
‘Cause he knows how this goes, that’s when it’s
Back to the gym again.
Time to get trim again.
He's gonna go jogging and hope that some old lady don't pass him

I’m gonna lose some weight on this weigh-in, just sayin’,
Not playin’, I’m trying not to gain gain
You only get one shot, want the number to come in low
This opportunity comes once during the week, you know.

I’m gonna lose some weight on this weigh-in, just sayin’,
Not playin’, I’m trying not to gain gain
You only get one shot, want the number to come in low
This opportunity comes once during the week, you know.

His belly’s shrinking, number on the scale is sinking.
This world is mine, he’s thinking.
Make him better, as he moves forward, energy restored.
His fat pants are saggin’, got new reasons to be braggin’.
Journey’s getting easier, his food less greasier.
It’ll never be over, he knows he can’t be a quitter.
Followed worldwide, he's known as the Big Sh*tter.
Smaller clothes, always hittin’ new lows.
Now he eats and works out like he oughta.
He gets fit and now can play chase with Pisa his daughter.
He runs and he runs and drinks lots of water.
The old snacks he attacked, no mo’ it don’t hack it.
Wants a healthy lunch fo sho, and he’ll pack it .
He blogs and he blogs and he blogs some more, baby
Will he lose some more weight when they weigh me?
Well maybe, but the weigh-ins go on.
Da da dum da dum da da

I’m gonna lose some weight on this weigh-in, just sayin’,
Not playin’, I’m trying not to gain gain
You only get one shot, want the number to come in low
This opportunity comes once during the week, you know.

I’m gonna lose some weight on this weigh-in, just sayin’,
Not playin’, I’m trying not to gain gain
You only get one shot, want the number to come in low
This opportunity comes once during the week, you know.

No more gains,
I'm a change, off to a brand new start.
Tear this mother-bloggin’ diet up and break it all apart.
I was playin’ in the beginning, now I’ve had a change of heart.
Exercisin’ with abandon while I’m eatin’ extra smart.
And I’m not frettin’, now I’m out there joggin’ those kilometers.
Runnin’ til I vomit more than any other vomiters.
Every gain I post amplied by the
Fact that I gotta post my weight each week.
And I’m constantly trying to improve my physique.
Got my paddles and I’m paddlin’ up outta Sh*t creek.
And it’s no movie, I’m not Brad Pitt, just Jack Sh*t.
New spirit, tryin’ to get fit, get a better body.
Using bloggin’ and my noggin’, anything to prod me.

Keep moving forward, each day a new opportunity
Runnin’ with all I got, I’m like a cheetah.
No more dipping pita in melted Velvetta.
Wanna be around til’ I’m old and creaky with my wife Anita.
Girl, I love you, a little more than a lot.
That’s why I keep giving all I got,
Wanna be hot to trot,
And I really want not to travel to the Land that Fit Forgot.

I’m gonna lose some weight on this weigh-in, just sayin’,
Not playin’, I’m trying not to gain gain
You only get one shot, want the number to come in low
This opportunity comes once during the week, you know.

You can do anything you set your mind to, man