If you wear Levi 1002s instead of 501s, you might be a fat-neck.
If the picture on your driver’s license is continued on the other side, you might be a fat-neck.
If you’re crossing the street and a motorist swerves to miss hitting you but runs out of gas in the process, you might be a fat-neck.
If you turn a teeter-totter into a catapult, you might be a fat-neck.
If you wear control-top turtlenecks, you might be a fat-neck.
If you’ve ever had a run in your blue jeans, you might be a fat-neck.
If you have to wear a three-piece bathing suit, you might be a fat-neck.
If people come up to you, rub your belly, and say “Oh Buddha, grant me my wish,” you might be a fat-neck.
If you can’t find a shawl that fits, you might be a fat-neck.
If you’re being recruited to be on The Biggest-est Loser, you might be a fat-neck.
If you sit down in your bathtub and the water in the toilet bowl rises, you might be a fat-neck.
Here's to everyone who's on the road to a healthier future.
It may take longer than you want, but we're gonna get there!
Until then, keep your chins up.
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