Attack of the Zombie Snowpersons!

You thought they were snowmen, didn't you?  Jolly happy souls, made of snow, who occasionally came to life.

And sure, some of those snowmen and snow-women you see are the jolly happy souls.

Then there are... the Un Dead.  The snowpeeps who are no longer among the living, who search for brains, who lose limbs and don't seem to notice or care.

Try the zombie checklist:

• Snowman zombies are undead. This means they used to be dead, but are somehow reanimated .

• Zombies don't walk.  They shuffle, slide, and roll. 

• Zombies generally have their arms outstretched.

• Zombies don't talk.  They do make sounds -- usually something like "Aaaaaangh!" or "Braiiiiiiiiiins!"

• Zombies wear dirty torn clothes, if they wear any clothes at all... like a castaway muffler or an old hat.

• Zombies are usually covered in blood.  Snowman zombies, having different circulatory systems and different eating habits, are covered in, well, snow.

• Zombies look like they're sick.  You know - kind of bloated, with little body definition.

• Zombies have dead expressions and vacant stares.  Their eyes might as well be two lumps of Kingsford charcoal.

• Zombies crave brains.  What do you think these are carrying in their hands?

• Zombies will get up after you run them over with your car.

 So what to do in case you meet up with a snowman zombie?

Best case scenario: Avoid the zombie in question. Failing that:

• Some say decapitation works best and will stop a zombie in his tracks.

• Cutting a zombie  into tiny pieces with some sort of chainsaw works, but in the case of snow and electrical chainsaws there can be electrocution problems.  A snow shovel should do the trick.

•  Hairdryer.

In any event, exercise caution and stay as far from the zombie snowperson as possible.  The further you are, the less likely you are to have an arm or leg ripped off your body.

Zombies will lunge at you if they think they have an open shot at your brains.  And on that subject, it is best to keep your head and brains covered.

The zombie snowmen in these earrings will actually protect you.  You see, each one is already carrying a brain.  So they won't need yours.  If other zombie snowmen see them, they will think the brains are YOUR brains, and move on to someone else.

These protection zombie snowmen are available on etsy.  Can you afford to be without them?

What Are You Doing New Year's, New Year's Eve?

Just quietly pondering the last year and listening to Diana Krall.  Enjoy...

"What Are You Doing New Year's Eve"

When the bells all ring and the horns all blow
And the couples we know are fondly kissing.
Will I be with you or will I be among the missing?

Maybe it's much too early in the game
Ooh, but I thought I'd ask you just the same

What are you doing New Year's
New Year's eve?

Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight
When it's exactly twelve o'clock that night

Welcoming in the New Year
New Year's eve

Maybe I'm crazy to suppose
I'd ever be the one you chose

Out of a thousand invitations
You received

Ooh, but in case I stand one little chance
Here comes the jackpot question in advance:

What are you doing New Year's
New Year's Eve?

Happy New Year All.  May the year ahead be filled with love, peace, happiness, and BrightandShiny moments.

2012: The New Year And New Hope

 "The Gate of the Year"

GOD KNOWS

- Minnie Louise Haskins (1908)

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
“Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”
And he replied:
“Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”
So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night.
And He led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East.

So heart bestill: 

What need our little life  

Our human life to know,  

If God hath comprehension? 

In all the dizzy strife  

Of things both high and low,  

God hideth His intention.

God knows. 

His will Is best. 

The stretch of years  

Which wind ahead, so dim  

To our imperfect vision,  

Are clear to God. 

Our fears  

Are premature; 

In Him, All time hath full provision.

Then rest: until God moves to lift the veil  

From our impatient eyes,  

When, as the sweeter features  

Of Life’s stern face we hail,  

Fair beyond all surmise  

God’s thought around His creatures  

Our mind shall fill. 
---------

This poem became popular and caught the attention of many people when Queen Elizabeth (the Queen Mother) handed a copy of it to her husband, King George VI and used it as one inspirational quote in his Christmas Broadcast in 1939. God Knows is the original title given by the author but it is popularly known as Gate of the Year.

It has also caught my attention as it was a part of our family devotion before the turns of the year.  (Using some of my devotional piece from my subscription in  crosswalk is really a blessing, authored by different remarkable christians who stood by their faith.) This poem is a think tank on what a light can do to move in the darkness, to see what is known, to see what lies ahead this new year..and yet the most that we can do is to sink our hands deeply to God so He would light and lead us into the path of the unknown. 
"He who trusts in the Lord will be exalted," (Proverbs 29:25) Nothing is better if we could light our path by following His words yet there is more than reading it...if we could hold on Him knowing He wouldn't lead us astray ... so whatever the struggles that we have left behind, a new hope for this new year is to keep holding on to His promises, trusting God and let Him lead us.

And as we make the turn to a new year, face that needs and sink our hand more deeply into God's hand. Pray for one another that as we embark upon a new year, God will grant us and our family His favor. 

I Heard a Bird Sing

by Oliver Herford

I heard a bird sing

In the dark of December

A magical thing

And sweet to remember:

"We are nearer to Spring

Than we were in September,"

I heard a bird sing

In the dark of December.

Spring butterflies here.

Resolutions That Probably Shouldn’t Be On Your List

•  Quit smoking and chewing tobacco at the same time

• Make sure you drink at least one Slurpee per day

• Read more… or at least watch more movies based on books… or at least watch more TV shows based on movies based on books… or at least just watch more TV.

• Exercise at least one minute per week

• Quit drinking coffee after 10 p.m.

• Floss semi-annually

• Take up something new, like salsa-dancing or salsa-eating

• Cut internet time down to 26 hours a day

• Spend more time with friends, family and/or strippers

• Work at reducing debt by purchasing one lottery ticket per day

• Organize office by setting desk on fire

• Each week, spend at least 12 hours improving Angry Birdage skills

Thoughts on Winter Solstice

The Shortest Day

by Susan Cooper

And so the Shortest Day came and the year died

And everywhere down the centuries of the snow-white world
Came people singing, dancing,
To drive the dark away.
They lighted candles in the winter trees;
They hung their homes with evergreen;
They burned beseeching fires all night long
To keep the year alive.

And when the new year’s sunshine blazed awake

They shouted, revelling.

Through all the frosty ages you can hear them

Echoing behind us – listen!

 All the long echoes, sing the same delight,

This Shortest Day,

As promise wakens in the sleeping land:

They carol, feast, give thanks,

And dearly love their friends,

And hope for peace.

And now so do we, here, now,

This year and every year.

BrightandShinyThings for winter here.

Don’t Read This!

I’m serious!

This is personal, something just for myself.

I know, it would probably make more sense to simply keep this as a regular document on my computer, but I’ve already started a blog post and I like to finish things that I start (except for that ship-in-a-bottle project that I started in 1989; damn my giant hands!).

Instead, I’ll run you all off by explaining, in excruciating detail, the rules of cricket.

According to Wikipedia, Cricket is a bat-and-ball game played between two teams of 11 players on an oval-shaped field, at the centre of which is a rectangular 22-yard long pitch. One team bats, trying to score as many runs as possible while the other team bowls and fields, trying to dismiss the batsmen and thus limit the runs scored by the batting team. A run is scored by the striking batsman hitting the ball with his bat, running to the opposite end of the pitch and touching the crease there without being dismissed. The teams switch between batting and fielding at the end of an innings. In professional cricket the length of a game ranges from 20 overs of six bowling deliveries per side to Test cricket played over five days. The Laws of Cricket are maintained by the International Cricket Council (ICC) and the Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) with additional Standard Playing Conditions for Test matches and One Day Internationals. Cricket was first played in southern England in the 16th century. By the end of the 18th century, it had developed into the national sport of England. The expansion of the British Empire led to cricket being played overseas and by the mid-19th century the first international matches were being held. The ICC, the game's governing body, has ten full members. The game is played particularly in Australasia, the Indian subcontinent, the West Indies, Southern Africa and England.

Okay, that should have gotten rid of everyone off by now.

Now Jack… Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack…

Think about how good you feel right now, right this very second. You’ve been eating well and exercising regularly for the last week or so.

AND YOU FEEL SO FREAKIN’ GOOD.

You fell off the wagon and you were draggin’ the entire time. You had no energy. Your get-up-and-go just got up and went. The connection was obvious, but you couldn’t put two and two together.

So here’s your reminder, dumbass:  Good health and weight loss is a giant boulder that, once it starts rolling, can bust through virtually any obstacle.

But when it comes to a stop, it can be next-to-impossible to get moving again.

So do yourself a favor…

Get it rolling.

Keep it rolling.

And keep it rolling some more.

Winter Tops

Topshop Striped Sweater Dress

Topshop Dress

ASOS Tartan Cape

Some Very Calvin and Hobbes Snowmen on a (Nearly) Wordless Wednesday

Snowpersons for all right here.

I'm Bad

My tummy rollin’ o’er my belt in some too-tight slacks,
I’m weighin’ way too much, it’s time to face the facts.
I was goin’ nowhere in the middle of my life.
Time to pick up my pride, and put down the fork and knife.
Time to quit eatin’ ice cream after dinner every night.
Get busy exercisin’ and straighten out my diet.

Oh, I'm fat… I'm way too wide.

Yes, I'm fat… I'm way too wide.



Turns out I feel much better when I sweat a little sweat,
When I eat fresh veggies ‘stead of freshly baked baguette.
When I eat fresh fruit, ‘stead of processed crap
Makes me feel much better, makes Jack a healthy chap.

I was fat… was way too wide.

Yeah was fat… way. way too wide.



Well, I was movin' down the road in my runnin’ shoes,
Thinkin’ to myself, “Hey, what have I got to lose?”
With my brand new muscles and my newfound will,
Nothing feels as good as feeling healthy feels.


I’m not fat… not way too wide.

I’m not fat, fat, fat, fat, fat… I’ve hit my stride.

Hippo Brains, or Yes, Virginia, There is a Hobbit

Scientists at the Natural History Museum believe that studies of ancient Madagascan hippos have led to a theory on the origins of the small brain of the 1-metre-tall human, known as the hobbit.

By examining the skulls of extinct Madagascan hippos, Museum scientists discovered that dwarfed mammals on islands evolved smaller brains in relation to their body size.

They now believe that Homo floresiensis may have had a tiny brain because of living on an island.  This belief is at the heart of the debate of the hobbit’s origins, whose remains were uncovered on the Indonesian island of Flores in 2003.

The team suggests that the hobbit became a dwarf after its Homo erectus ancestor became isolated on the large island of Flores many years ago.

‘The discovery of a small fossil human from the island of Flores with normal facial proportions but a brain the size of chimpanzee has baffled scientists,’ explained Natural History Museum palaeontologist, Dr Eleanor Weston, who led the research.

‘It could be that its skull is that of a dwarfed mammal living on an island. Looking at pygmy hippos in Madagascar, which possess exceptionally small brains for their size, suggests that the ‘hobbit’ was a dwarf resulting from its H. erectus ancestors being isolated on the island in the past.’

Madagascar has many diverse habitats and was once home to at least 3 species of hippo.

(these aren't them)

The team studied species of extinct Madagascan hippos and their mainland ancestor, the large common hippopotamus.

(this one's not really common ~ he's carved of amazonite)

One of the specimens used, from the Museum’s mammal collection, was a nearly 3000-year-old dwarf hippo skull belonging to the extinct Hippopotamus madagascariensis.

'We found that the brain sizes of extinct dwarf hippos were still up to 30% smaller than you would expect...' explains Dr. Weston. 'It may be advantageous to the survival of animals that become isolated on islands with unique environments, not only to become dwarfs but to reduce the size of their brain.'

 So apparently these charmed hippos are perfectly suited to live on a small island, preferably populated with beady vegetation.  You can find them here and here.

The entire article (without the CHARMing hippos, alas)