• “Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel loses a pound.”
• “I'll be back… after my workout!”
• “My momma always said, bloggers was like a box of chocolates–all different kinds and most full of nuts.”
• “Well, I believe in the diet, the blog, the push-up, that muscle at the small of a woman's back, high fiber, plenty of water, that these lists by Jack Sh*t are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Jack LeLanne was a fitness pioneer. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing High Fructose Corn Syrup and the McDonald’s Happy Meal. I believe in the sweat spot, low-fat salad dressing, doing your weigh-in once a week rather than every day and I believe in long, slow, deep, hard, workouts that last three hours.”
• “You're gonna need a smaller butt.”
• “I'll make him an sandwich he can't refuse.”
• “Soylent Green is people… but it’s low-fat and gluten-free.”
• “The first rule of Bite Club is - you do not blog about Bite Club. The second rule of Bite Club is - you DO NOT eat Chinese food the day before a weigh-in.”
• “When I'm good, I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, my weigh-in sucks.”
• “Yo, Adrian. Let’s just grab a salad tonight.”
• “You're a lean, mean, dieting machine!”
• “I wish I knew how to quit juice.”
• “I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to eat this anymore.”
• “They call me Mister Tibbs and I no longer drink Mister Pibbs.” (Wait… do they still make Mister Pibbs? What about Tab?)
• “Houston, we have weight problem.”
• “Shaken, not stirred… on second thought, I’ll have a Mango Bobango Smoothie with a vitamin boost.”
• “On my signal, unleash hell… on the treadmill!”
• “I see fat people.”
• “I am going to chop this piece of tilapia up into 42 pieces.”
• “Gluttony, definitely my favorite sin.”
• “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful weight-loss journey.”
