Bodfather: The Jury's Still Out...

Subject #2 in the "Bodfather"
Witness Reduction Program: Laurie

Height: 5'6"
Starting weight: 240  
Current weight: 232
Loss: 8 lbs.

What happens when a lawyer is made godfather? 
. . . He makes you an offer you can't understand.

What can a goose do that a duck can't do that a lawyer won't do? 
. . . Stick his bill up his ass.

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? 
. . . Two dobermans!

Pretty soon after Laurie–the second participant in my “Bodfather” program–got started, I began having misgivings.

First off, Laurie’s a lawyer, and when has anything to do between an attorney and me ever gone the way I wanted it to?

Secondly, Laurie’s heart didn’t really seem to be in it.

She was busy.

She didn’t have time to eat right, her career kept her hopping too much to exercise.

Ummmm…

I object!

I had to get a teensy-weensy bit testy with Laurie because I didn’t like a lot of what I was hearing from her:


And I'll go ahead and say this right to your face: get your priorities straight! A career is important, to be sure, but don't relegate taking care of yourself down the list. Yesterday I was working on a project with an afternoon deadline that I was woefully behind on. My first impulse was to skip my noontime workout and knock the project out, but at the last minute I said "F that" and went and did my thang, trusting that I work even better under pressure (well, maybe not "better" but definitely "faster"). It all worked out in the end AND I got my workout in. I know that law can be an intense profession, but you're not gonna be in any shape to enjoy those big bucks you're pulling in unless you make some big-time changes in your life. 


I thought about all the people looking for assistance that I had turned down, and I was getting ready to really let Laurie have it with both barrels. Because that’s what I envisioned this whole “Bodfather” business being about anyway… about having someone to shine a light on you, someone to hold you accountable even when you start second-guessing yourself.  Someone to make you do this, and do it right!

I’m not even sure if the “Bodfather” participants realize how serious I am about this, but if they start slacking off on me, I’m prepared to publicly wear them out (and I encourage you to join me in the beatdown).

But for now, Laurie seems to have straightened herself out. After a no-loss weigh-in to start things off, starting enjoying a little success on the scale. She’s still having issues with time management and food, but she’s starting to see signs of a down-the-road payoff already and has been chronicling her struggles and successes on her own blog.

“I can't believe that food had me in tears at one point,” she told me recently. “It's really embarrassing.  And I am so confused as to why it is so hard.  I am confused because I feel better. You are so right, that energy is starting to come back. After starting to take 10-20 minute walks at lunch or, if meeting, in the afternoon, I feel so much better. People have begun to notice the energy (I talk really fast when I have energy...you are probably a figure of dislike at my office now). And my skin is clearing up. I knew it had a lot to do with sugar and as soon as I stopped eating candy and made the effort to read labels, it started clearing up.

“My clothes are already fitting a little better. I still creak, still not all that flexible, but I can smoke a 1 mile walk now. I have climbed to 15 minutes on the elliptical in one week. And I can get up from a chair without using the arms.

“All in all, everything is changing for the better. I wish I could figure out why, when all of these GREAT things are happening, I have so many moments during every single day of wanting to quit, wanting to eat crap? I suppose the most honest answer is, of course I am fighting every single day. I spent over 20 years giving in every single day. That gremlin is not going to be silenced by a few days of being denied.

 “Scientists have found that what we call will-power (the strength to say no) has to be built up like a muscle. The more we use it, the stronger and more automatic it gets. It's why it takes a dedicated smoker multiple times to quit. And it's why a dedicated weight loss person usually has to go through a lot of crap in the beginning phases. People give up because they don't realize that it will get easier, that they are building toward something."

Laurie got off to a slow and unsteady start, but she’s catching her stride now.

What do you get when you cross an overweight lawyer with a positive life change?

I don’t know, but we’re gonna find out…





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Bodfather: A Summons to Appear

Subject #2 in the "Bodfather"
Witness Reduction Program: Laurie

Height: 5'6"
Current weight:  240 lbs.


Opening statement: I hate lawyers.

I guess it comes from my personal lawyer, who sent me a bill the other day for crossing the street and talking to somebody that he thought was me.

So when I agreed to take on Laurie as part of my “Bodfather” program, my plan was to tell her to eat cupcakes six times a day and watch nine hours of television daily.

But then I started learning more about Laurie’s story.

“You know I was thin at one time,” she confided in me.  “My grandmother was obese. My aunt was grossly obese (I think that's the term). I saw my aunt about three years ago and her first words were 'I knew you’d eventually get fat.’”

Then she went into hiding. For the next couple of years, Laurie avoided seeing anyone that knew her from back when was thin, including her own family.

From there, she tells me, she spent a year in defiance.  “Yeah I am fat,” she proclaims boldly. “What of it?”

What of it indeed? Not caring what others think is one thing, but when it’s so obvious that obesity is taking its toll on your quality of life, well… that’s a different story.

“It’s about the aches and pains,” says Laurie. “It’s about the fact that my knees hurt or my back aches.  Or I can't go up one flight of stairs without huffing.”

So Laurie decided to represent herself, decided that now’s the time to take control of her own future. 

However, and… well, you probably already know this:  it’s difficult.

“I can feel the excuses start around 2 p.m.” she told me. “ Candy = energy.  Hamburger = being good to myself.  Ice cream = yeah, you leave the ice cream out of this.  Ice cream never hurt anyone, ice cream loves me...okay, scratch that.”

 So, it’s not easy. I’ll tell you like I told Laurie: it’s not easy for any of us. Some may make it look easy, but I promise you that it’s not.

Easy? No.

Worth it? Absolutely.

“I don't want to be 20 again,” says Laurie. “But I don't want to feel so old either. I want energy. I want to get out of bed without groaning for at least thrity more years.  I want to run again.  I want to feel muscles again. I want to see a collarbone again.”

“Am I certain I will follow-through?” she continues. “No, I am not. But do I want to stop with the excuses?  Yep. Would I like someone there cheering for me? Yes, that would be pretty awesome.  Do I want someone there to ask the hard questions? Yep. It’s not about shame or guilt;  it’s about taking responsibility.”

Laurie’s story reminds me of the man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer. He goes to a lawyer, telling him that he really, really doesn’t want to go to jail. But his lawyer tells him, "Don’t worry. You’ll never have to go to jail with all that money.” And the lawyer was right. When the man is eventually sent to prison, he doesn’t have a dime.

Okay, that doesn’t really remind me of Laurie’s story, but if I’m going to be working with a lawyer here, you’re gonna have to expect a few lawyer jokes along the way.

Measurements (in inches):

Neck - 15.75
Upper arm - 15.5
Chest - 46
Waist - 43.5
Hips - 49
Upper thigh - 28
Calf - 18


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