Halloween Party Tips from Vladimir the Vampire

Vladimir is vorld-renowned for his food blog and writes an entertainment column for the Transylvania Times.  He also appears in Vittles Vith Vladimr.  Here are some of Vladimir's tips for your Halloween party.



1.  Choose pumpkins visely.  Assorted sizes vork nicely for decoration purposes.  Leave some uncut for pie, vhich goes nicely with Type O Cocktails.



2.  Encourage the spiders to start spinning vebs.  If you plan ahead, you can use some of those vebs as seating for your guests.



3.  Choosing a DJ who is also a dance instructor vill get your guests moving.



4.  Skulls are useful for flower arrangements.  Don't forget the eye sockets!



5.  Have a hat rack or closet where guests can leave unvanted pieces of their costumes.  Some guests vork vell as hat racks.



6.  Your guest list should include both the living and the departed.  A quick bite from Vladimir can change one into another.



7.  Delegate, delegate, delegate.  Have a friend vith a special potion recipe?  Encourage her to vhip some up.



8.  Worried about guests leaving plates of food around?  Make sure you invite some hungry cats to take care of those annoying leftovers.



9.  Don't fuss over lighting.  Most of your guests vill prefer low-light situations.



Vatch this space for more party tips from Vladimir!

Vendall the Vegetarian Vampire Bat

Straight from the latest EHAG Emporium, a bracelet of Bats in the Moonlight and the Tale of Vendall the Vegetarian Vampire Bat

This is the strange tale of a vampire bat
Who wanted to be vegetarian.
Instead of pigs, cows, horses, roosters, and sheep
He vanted a meal less barbarian.



His brothers and sisters and uncles and aunts
Served up cocktails of hemoglobin
While Vendall the Vampire Bat loudly vowed,
"No blood shall e'er stain my micro- chin!"



When out in the moonlight his family swooped
To sup on sweet sangre de vaca,
Vendall the Vampire Bat sneered and said,
"That stuff to my tongue tastes like caca!"



While Grandmother, Grandfather, GreatGrandma, too
Dined out on fat pigs who were snoozin',
Vendall the Vampire Bat said, "No, thanks!"
For fruit smoothies Vendall vas crusin'.



While they supped on sheep blood and blood of the rooster
Vendall ate mango and guava.
The others drank plasma and chasers of platelets
While Vendall vashed his down with java.



By vy, Vendall vondered, do I eat like this?
And vy is my family Vampire-ish?
"It's 'cause you're adopted, my son," said his mom.
Asked Vendall, "Does that mean I'm Irish?"



So Mama Vampire took Vendall aside.
She hung upside down citing stats.
The rest of the family?  Desmodus rotundus.
But Vendall came straight from fruit bats.







If you're vondering vere you can find this bracelet, it's here.