Even More Excuses for a Bad Weigh-in

• Stepped on scale with wrong foot first

• Shouldn't have carried 10-lb rabbit's foot for luck.

• Pissed off that old voodoo woman at the park.

• Nobody told me cheese fries had lot of calories.

• Prayed to God and Jesus, but completely forgot about Holy Ghost.

• Friends really let me down by dragging me to bar and forcing me to drink heavily.

• Boss won't let me telecommute from gym.

• Thought big gain would make more interesting blog material.

• Read that muscle weighs more than fat so I must have somehow grown a bunch of new muscles.

• Forgot "safe word" that scale and I had agreed upon.

• It's all food's fault for being some damned delicious.

Excuses for a Sucky Weigh-In

• 

Blinded by fridge light; accidentally ate a cheesecake
  
  
• 
Stepped on scale left foot first instead of right foot first
  
  
• 
Forgot pre-weigh-in prayer
  
  
• 
Thought I was going to Zumba class but it turned out to be keg party
  
  
• 
Conspiracy at the highest levels of government
  
  
• 
Had gum in my mouth
  
  
• Forgot to exhale when I stepped on scale; lungs were full of heavy, heavy oxygen
  
  
• Don’t understand it; must have had a hundred fat-free brownies this week!
  
  
• 
Went ahead and had all I could eat at all-you-can-eat buffet
  
  
• 
Had Oreo coupon that was about to expire
  
  
• Pissed off voodoo witch-lady down in New Orleans
  
  
• Something in the air
  
  
• Misread recipe; it read “teaspoon” of olive oil and I thought it said “tablefull”
  
  
• Bad luck because I ate a black cat
  
  
• Weighed in the nude, but feel I could have been nuder
  
  
  
  .