Things That Go Bump in the Night

Under the Bed

by

Penny Tryznka

There’s a terrible green monster
who lives beneath my bed.
I hear his long white teeth click.

He’s waiting to be fed.
I shiver underneath my sheets
and squeeze my eyes up tight.

Maybe if I lie real still
he won’t eat me tonight…
He taps me on the shoulder.

I don’t know what to do.
He looks at me and says, “I’m scared!
Can I get in with you?”

Things That Go Bump in the Night Bracelet is up for auction on eBay RIGHT NOW!  RIGHT HERE!

Everything You Wanted to Know About Goblins But Were Afraid to Ask Revisited

Earlier posts have discussed witches and ghosts at great length.  This has caused some grumbling in the goblin community, though their frustration might be due to the fact that the Goblin Fan Club page on FaceBook has only 5 members.

Nonetheless, the Goblin Lobby has demanded equal time so, with the latest Halloween bracelet, here are some goblin facts to assist you in goblin-proofing your home.

The goblin images below, btw, are courtesy of Arthur Siderwick's Field Guide and Tony DeTerlizzi's Imaginopolis Blog.

Now gather near to better learn

A useful thing or three

Of goblin facts, assuredly

Not learned at mother's knee.

The goblin's a small critter

With a head both large and wide

Which is why, with narrow spaces,

Oft' a goblin's trapped inside.

The goblins love to sing aloud

Karaoke, a capella

With words so vile they're known to shame

The most foul mouth-ed fella.

They're bad at consequences,

Never thinking things quite through

Which is why they'll hide in ovens

And emerge as goblin stew.

The goblins are dog-haters

Fearing canines and moreover

You will never find a goblin child

Named Fido, Spot, or Rover.

And, in case you're wondering

About their fear of horses,

Well, horses stomp on goblins

Causing pain and woe, of courses.

Garbage dumps and gutters,

Junk yards, soggy sewers

Are favorite haunts of goblins

Who make refuse into skewers.

As far as meals and eating

It's said goblins are voracious.

And despite their tiny frames

Their stomachs are capacious.

The goblin's love of fire

Earns the label: pyromaniac.

The fact they'll torch their own homes

Makes them lose the label: brainiac.

The goblins believe writing

Is a way to steal their souls

And thus the public library

Belongs, instead, to trolls.

So watch out for the woodpile,

The thistle patch, rain barrel,

The chicken coop, the oven

To avoid the Goblin peril.

See Tony DeTerlizzi's Imaginopolis Blog for more on goblins.  Ten Fun Facts About Goblins can be found here.

Goblins, ghouls, and ghosts on eBay and etsy.

Haunted

by Shel Silverstein



I dare you all to go into
The Haunted House on Howlin’ Hill,
Where squiggly things with yellow eyes
Peek past the wormy window sill.



We’ll creep into the moonlit yard,
Where weeds reach out like fingers,
And through the rotted old front door
A-squeakin’ on it hinges,
Down the dark and whisperin’ hall,
Past the musty study,
Up the windin’ staircase--
Don’t step on the step that’s bloody--



Through the secret panel
To the bedroom where we’ll slide in
To the ragged cobweb dusty bed
Ten people must have died in.




And the bats will screech,
And the spirits will scream,
And the thunder will crash
Like a horrible dream,
And we’ll sing with the zombies
And dance with the dead.




And howl at the ghost
With the axe in his head,
And--come to think of it what do you say
We go get some ice cream instead?

Ghosties and goblins and no ice cream here.

Fred the Zombie

Fred the Zombie

Fred the Zombie is one of the lampwork un-dead.  He likes walks on the beach, eating brains, and dancing like no one's watching.  

Fred can be found here.

The Ghouish Costume Ball

Once upon a Hallow's Eve
Years ago, I do believe,
All the creatures green and ghoulish
Wanted to try something coolish.



If the humans, fat or tall
Could dress any way at all,
Why couldn't the bats and witches
Pull off some sartorial switches?



So they planned and sketched designs
For their 31st deadlines.
Each ghoul planned his own costume
For the Goblin's Grand Ballroom.



Bat was first, dressed as a spider
(Though his butt was a bit wider.)
Ghost dressed as a candy corn ~
The first corn to transport airborne.



Skeletons dressed as warty hags,
Zombies draped in sequined rags,
Black cats came as bandaged mummies,
Werewolves dressed as pirate rummies.



Frankenstein came as a goblin
Who excelled at apple bobblin'.
Creature from the Black Lagoon
Swaddled in alien's cocoon.



Wolfman was a chic vampire
In his girlfriend's goth attire.
Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde
Showed up as the Corpse's Bride.



Creatures from each rank and phylum
Danced at this costumed asylum.
When they'd done all they'd desired,
They hit the coffins... and retired.



A souvenir bracelet of the event.

Everything You Wanted to Know About Goblins But Were Afraid to Ask

Earlier posts have discussed witches and ghosts at great length.  This has caused some grumbling in the goblin community, though their frustration might be due to the fact that the Goblin Fan Club page on FaceBook has only 5 members.

Nonetheless, the Goblin Lobby has demanded equal time so, with the latest Halloween bracelet, here are some goblin facts to assist you in goblin-proofing your home.

The goblin images below, btw, are courtesy of Arthur Siderwick's Field Guide and Tony DeTerlizzi's Imaginopolis Blog.

Now gather near to better learn
A useful thing or three
Of goblin facts, assuredly
Not learned at mother's knee.

The goblin's a small critter
With a head both large and wide
Which is why, with narrow spaces,
Oft' a goblin's trapped inside.




The goblins love to sing aloud
Karaoke, a capella
With words so vile they're known to shame
The most foul mouth-ed fella.



They're bad at consequences,
Never thinking things quite through
Which is why they'll hide in ovens
And emerge as goblin stew.

The goblins are dog-haters
Fearing canines and moreover
You will never find a goblin child
Named Fido, Spot, or Rover.

And, in case you're wondering
About their fear of horses,
It's 'cause horses stomp on goblins
Causing pain and woe, of courses.



Garbage dumps and gutters,
Junk yards and soggy sewers
Are favorite haunts of goblins
Who make refuse into skewers.



As far as meals and eating
It's said goblins are voracious.
And despite their rather small frames
Their stomachs are capacious.




The goblin's love of fire
Earns the label: pyromaniac.
The fact they'll torch their own homes
Makes them lose the label: brainiac.

The goblins believe writing
Is a way to steal their souls
And so the public library
Belongs, instead, to trolls.



So watch out for the woodpile,
The thistle patch, rain barrel,
The chicken coop, the oven
To avoid the Goblin peril.



See Tony DeTerlizzi's Imaginopolis Blog for more on goblins.  Ten Fun Facts About Goblins can be found here.

And be sure to check out my goblin-free bracelet.

Karaoke Ghouls

Ever wonder what ghouls do when the Halloween season is past?  Well, some work as extras in horror films.  But so much production is going out of town that it's hard for them to stay employed.  So a great number of the ghouls have become professional karaoke artists.  "How can you spot a professional karaoke artist?" you ask?  Well, for one thing, each has his own microphone.



Nights you can find them at any of a number of karaoke bars, singing such hits as "In the Shrill of the Night," "Stairway to Hell," "The Witch is Back," "50 Ways to Eat Your Liver," and  "Undead Melody."  (Thanks to topfive.com)



These ghouls only work nights, so they are available for Career Day at your child's school.  You can contact them here.