The Greatest Gift?

It was the day before Christmas vacation, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. First the son of the local florist her a gift. She shook it, listened to the package, sniffed it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what this is. It's a beautiful bouquet of flowers." 

"That's right" the boy said in wonderment.  "How did you know?"

"Oh, just a wild guess," she answered.

The next student was the daughter of the owner of the neighborhood candy shop. The teacher held her gift up, and looked at it from all angles.  She shook it gently and held it up high.  Finally she said, "I bet I can guess what this is. I bet it's a box of candy!" 

The little girl was thrilled.  "Yes," she said.   "But how did you know?"

"Just a wild guess," answered the teacher. 

The next gift came from the son of the man who owned the liquor store downtown.  The teacher took the package carefully.  She squeezed it, but when she held the package overhead, she noticed  it was leaking. She touched a drop of the moisture with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it a delicious wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the moisture to her tongue. "Is it fizzy champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied. 

The teacher took one more taste, and set the package down.  "I give up, what is it?" 

With a bog smile, the boy announced, "It's a puppy!" 

Dry Christmas puppies ~ in bracelet and earring form ~ can be found in my eBay Christmas store and my etsy Christmas store.

Santa Got Stuck in the Chimney

by Kenn Nesbitt

Poor Santa got stuck in our chimney.
I know it sounds weird, but it's true.
His feet made it down, but his belly
was one size too large for the flue.

His reindeer are up on our rooftop.
His sleigh is still loaded with toys.
And Santa, that kindly old fellow,
is making a whole lot of noise.

We called the police and the sheriff.
They showed up with ladders and cranes.
They brought all their winches and pulleys,
plus bungee cords, cables and chains.

They're working right now to remove him
by hoisting him slowly back out.
It might take all morning, for Santa
is more than a little bit stout.
 

If you don't have presents this morning,
we're sorry you're having to wait.
But Santa's still stuck in our chimney.
He may be a day or two late.

Until then, please hide all your cookies.
Though Santa may find this severe,
at least then he'll fit down the chimney
when he comes on Christmas next year.

 Christmas BrightandShinyThings here and here.

The Christmas Dog and some Christmas Brightandshinythings

Christmas Dog

by Shel Silverstein

Tonight's my first night as a watchdog,
And here it is Christmas Eve.
The children are sleeping all cozy upstairs,
While I'm guardin' the stockin's and tree.



What's that now---footsteps on the rooftop?
Could it be a cat or a mouse?
Who's this down the chimney?
A thief with a beard---
And a big sack for robbin' the house?



I'm barkin', I'm growlin', I'm bitin' his butt.
He howls and jumps back in his sleigh.
I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air.
I've frightened the whole bunch away.



Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again.
The stockin's are safe as can be.
Won't the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow
And see how I've guarded the tree.



So here is the tree, according to me,
That I made our of baubles and beadies.
You'll find it right here, so stifle that fear.
You can buy it without those entreaties,