Here’s To All My Crackpot Friends

Once upon a time, there was a wise old Chinese dude named Confush*t who often said wise and quotable things.

Now Confush*t had two large pots for carrying water, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck as Chinese fellows so often do in stories such as this.

One of the pots was beautiful and perfect and always delivered a full portion of water, but the other one had a nasty crack in it. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with Confush*t delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been put on this Earth to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to Confush*t one day by the stream.

“I am ashamed of myself because this crack in my side causes water to leak all the way back to your house.”

Confush*t spoke softly to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.”

The flawed pot replied, “Thank you, dear Confush*t. I don’t feel so worthless anymore.”

“Worthless?” laughed Confush*t. “Do you know what a talking pot goes for on eBay these days? The bidding is up to $4,500 and there’s still three days left…”

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. Look for the good in each person you meet. And it’s true: talking pots will fetch a bundle on eBay.

Confush*t Say…

…person who eat too much butter doesn’t leave much margarine for error with weigh-in.

…person who just doesn’t like to drink water shouldn’t try to faucet.

…person who decide to become vegetarian may find it a missed steak.

…person on no-carb diet can develop a loathe of bread.

…person who eat too much Chinese food today have bad weigh-in tamari.

…person who eats a lot of donuts dozen have to worry about losing too much weight.

…person who can’t give up carbs find much a-dough about muffin.

…person whose diet doesn’t include vegetables leaves mushroom for improvement.

…person who cooks for herself has skillet takes to eat more healthy.

…person who eat too much bread is a gluten for punishment.

…person who write weight-loss blog is starving for attention.

Confush*t believes that you and you alone are the one who controls your own density. After all, nothing dentured, nothing gained.

Confush*t's motto:
Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff
or stuff the cheesy puffs.

Confush*t Say…

Confush*t say...

…a 5 a.m. workout is like a pig’s tail. It’s twirly.

…person who make weight loss podcast likes to talk diet-y.

…person who drink beer generally doesn’t lose weight, but it’s on a case-by-case basis.

…person who get vinegar in ear soon suffer from pickled hearing.

…person who put too much dressing on sandwich mayonnaise some self-control.

…person who become overweight find it’s something that just snacks up on you.

…person who eat too much seafood may think it’s salmon chanted evening but end up feeling pretty eel.

…person who eat too many eggs can quiche a good cholesterol check-up goodbye.

…person who becomes vegetarian may find it a missed steak.

…person who drinks too much at night has to worry about the mourning after.

…person who has an organic garden tills it like it is.

…person who eat too much cream sauce needs to take break for the Hollandaise.

…person who consume too much hamburger suffer from beefer madness.

…person who read Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit every day get blogged down in stupidity.  

Confush*t believes that you and you alone

are the one who controls your own density.

After all, nothing dentured, nothing gained.

Confush*t's motto:
Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff
or stuff the cheesy puffs.

Here’s To All My Crackpot Friends

Once upon a time, there was a wise old Chinese dude named Confush*t who often said wise and quotable things.

Now Confush*t had two large pots for carrying water, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck as Chinese fellows so often do in stories such as this.

One of the pots was beautiful and perfect and always delivered a full portion of water, but the other one had a nasty crack in it. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with Confush*t delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been put on this Earth to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to Confush*t one day by the stream.

“I am ashamed of myself because this crack in my side causes water to leak all the way back to your house.”

Confush*t spoke softly to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.”

The flawed pot replied, “Thank you, dear Confush*t. I don’t feel so worthless anymore.”

“Worthless?” laughed Confush*t. “Do you know what a talking pot goes for on eBay these days? The bidding is up to $4,500 and there’s still three days left…”

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it’s the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. Look for the good in each person you meet. And it’s true: talking pots will fetch a bundle on eBay.