• Encourage the company where you work to sponsor a "Biggest Loser" challenge; if that works, try to get them to sponsor a "Deal or No Deal" challenge. Hey,maybe you'll win a million dollars and can quit this crummy job!
• Instead of dipping caramel apples in caramel, just dip regular apples in caramel instead. Way fewer calories!
• When at your favorite restaurant, try ordering the opposite of what you really want.
• Install a series of ropes or vines throughout your house and swing from room to room on them. Tarzan's a pretty fit dude, after all.
• Every morning, I look in the mirror and say "I can do this!" So tomorrow, I'd like you to look in your mirror and say "Jack can do this!"
• There's no quicker way to get in your daily intake of water than to almost drown.
• Every time you make an excuse for not exercising, an angel gets a migraine headache.
• Don't trust a dietician who eats a 2-lb. bag of pork rinds during your initial consultation.
• If you're a cannibal, consider leaner cuts like shins and biceps instead of buttocks.
• Beer is pretty high calorie, so a good strategy is to drink so much that you throw up.
• Leaving a blog comment burns 10 calories.
