I don’t know why, but it’s easier for me to write stuff that’s the absolute opposite of what you should be doing than just continue preaching to the choir.
- Treat working out like a job; call in and pretend to be sick when you don’t feel like going.
- When you order a piece of cake, remember to ask for the frosting on the side.
- Try not to drink more than one beer at a time.
- Sex can burn over 300 calories per hour, so try to have at least six hours of it a day.
- Don’t be intimidated by the fitness equipment; the worst that can happen is that you look foolish… or the weights fall while you’re doing chest presses and you crush your larynx.
- Interval training is a great way to build up your stamina, so run one step, walk one step, run one step, walk one step….
- Regular kettlebells are kind of heavy, so you should probably start off with inflatable kettlebells.
- A slice of cake is kind of high in calories, but they don’t specify how big the slice can be. Go crazy!
- It’s important to get plenty of sleep every day… at least that’s what you should tell your boss when he catches you napping in your cubicle.
- Calcium is important to maintain bone density so try to drink a glass of milk or blue cheese dressing every day.
- The baristas at Starbucks will tell you the nutritional information of your favorite coffee drinks if you ask, so for God’s sake–don’t ask!
- Each day, try to work in 3-4 servings of fresh fruit or fruit-flavored candy.
- Drinking water is a key component to weight loss, so try to drink at least a gallon while you’re swimming laps.
- Blogging is important to maintain accountability; if you haven’t got time to create new content, just copy and paste some from somebody else’s blog.
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