I'm Going to Jack's Blog!

 

I'm sorry, Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash

I got big back in high school,

Fatter than a big-ole’ swine.
I’ve been hearin’ ‘bout Jack Sh*t,

Ever since I got online.
I’m going to Jack’s blog,
Not gonna mess around.
Yeah, I’m going to Jack’s blog.

See if I can lose a pound.

Well, come on over to Jack’s blog.
Let’s do something ‘bout your health.
Things have been rough for long enough,
It’s time to take care of yourself.
Head over to Jack’s blog.
Got some posts to peruse.
Honey, come over to Jack’s blog.
What have you got to lose?

When I first started blogging,
People said “What the hell?”
All them readers commentin', 

“Man, you can tame that scale.”
You can do it, Jack Sh*t.
This is your big chance.
Get movin’, Jack Sh*t.
Let’s lose them fat pants.”

If you’ve been a reader of Jack’s blog, 

You know how this thing goes.
He quit messing around 

And the weight started comin’ down.
Now he’s wearing a lot smaller clothes.
Look at you, Jack Sh*t. 

You look like a new man.
Exercising Jack Sh*t. And eating right on plan.

Well now, you may be overweight these days, 

Bigger than a hippopotamus.
But now you want to get yourself more fit, 

Just like a lot of us
 


You’re goin' to Jack’s blog, ‘

Til this journey ends.


Yeah, you and ol’ Jack Sh*t, 

Awesome weight-losing friends.