That Whole Easter Bunny Thing

Let me get this straight.



Easter eggs come from Easter bunnies.



Not chickens.



But they don't necessarily lay the eggs.



That's a job for Easter chickens.



Easter bunnies just deliver the eggs.



But there's a shelf life on eggs.



So the Easter Bunny must get special eggs that don't decompose, and deliver them very quickly.



Otherwise, he is turned to chocolate.  Or hematite.



Okay.  I hope you finally understand.




Easter bunnies, Easter eggs, and assorted Easter goodies can be found here and here and here and all along the bunny trail.

Ballad of a Boneless Chicken

by Jack Prelutsky

I’m a basic boneless chicken,
Yes, I have no bones inside,
I’m without a trace of ribcage,
Yet I hold myself with pride,
Other hens appear offended by my total lack of bones,
They discuss me impolitely
In derogatory tones.



I am absolutely boneless,
I am boneless through and through,
I have neither neck nor thighbones,
And my back is boneless too,
And I haven’t got a wishbone,
Not a bone within my breast,
So I rarely care to travel
From the comfort of my nest.



I have feathers fine and fluffy,
I have lovely little wings,
But I lack the superstructure
To support these splendid thing.
Since a chicken finds it tricky
To parade on boneless legs,
I stick closely to the hen house,
Laying little scrambled eggs.



Boneless chicken right here.

Cooking with Jack: Thank God It's Fry-Day

Welcome to Cooking with Jack, the cooking show where the secret ingredient is... love. And crushed red pepper. Today's webisode is going to show you, step by step, how to make the best fried chicken you ever tasted.

First, you're gonna want to get yourself some good fresh chicken.

How can you tell if your chicken is fresh? Well, is it clucking? Is it struggling in your arms? Does it small "chickeny"?

 Now the old-timers will tell you to just grab the beast by the neck and give it a good twist, but that's just too barbaric for my sensibilities...

 

No, this is an animal with a feelings and a name (Dulce) and everything. My daughter Pisa wouldn't let me name any of the chickens and I'm great at naming animals. Who named the rabbit "Elvis Parsley"? Huh, Pisa? And who came up with that classic chicken moniker "Johann Sebastian Bawwk"?

Antyway, what you really need is a good reason to go into chicken-slaughtering mode...

Oh, so you're trying to steal my wallet? Are you kidding me, Dulce? I trusted you. I trusted you!

 What were you gonna buy anyway? A cool wallet like mine?

You've stolen from me for the last time, you stupid clucker.

 

Naw... we can't start killing every time somebody steals something, especially with my track record.

  
YOUR BUCK-BUCK-BLOG IS STUPID!

Say that again, you petty, paltry poultry.

 

YOU HEARD ME. IT'S JUST GOOFY AND BOOOOORING!

That's it! I'm going all Colonel Sanders on your feathery ass!

Hold on, Stabby McGee. Look at what I left on the counter over there for you.

What? All I see is a hilarious refrigerator magnet...

Lower, dumbass.

What? I don't... huh?

 

Free eggs? How awesome is that?

Two eggs, scrambled with a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese = Delish.
And no bloody mess to clean up!