• Instead of taking the elevator at your office building, try calling in sick and going to the gym instead.
• Instead of photocopies, make yogacopies.
• One simple way to get your heart rate up is to do such a poor job that you’re constantly worried you’ll get fired.
• Excuse yourself from a staff meeting and go run a marathon.
• Invest in some carpet skates and sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide to your next meeting.
• Make Mondays optional.
• Keep a bucket of hand sanitizer in the lobby and encourage people to dip their hands in it regularly.
• Replace harsh flurescent office lights with complete and utter darkness.
• If you’re going to offer donuts in the break room, at least make sure each one is first injected with a flu shot.
• Get a hands-free headset for your phone (wait… that was for my list of how to annoy the hell out of your co-workers).
• Drink more water by running a garden hose from restroom to your desk.
• Start a Health Eating Club. Yeah, it’s gonna be lonely but you’re used to loneliness, right?
• Replace your office chair with a personal trainer.
• It’s simple to turn an ordinary coffee maker into a juicer. Just invent a really small juicer that fits in the coffee filter basket thingy.
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