A Chance to Win a Cornerstoregoddess Halloween Bracelet

Wanna winna bracelet?

One with a witch and a bat and a jack o' lantern and a skull and a ghost and candy corn...

...and orange and black beads?

Sure you do!

Here's how.  If you're not a follower of this blog, please become one.  Then leave a comment on the day's post.  You can leave a comment every day.  Each comment counts as an entry.  Then, at midnight on October 23rd, Uncle Buck will reach into the cauldron and pull a name.  It could be yours!

You'll be the winner!  And I will promptly ship your bracelet to you, so you have it in time for Halloween.  (Be sure to leave me contact info!)

Now go forth and comment!

Butterfly Musings and a Chance to Win Butterfly Earrings

Of all species of butterfly,
Of all the types who flutter by:

Nymphilidae, Hesperidae,
Lycaeridae, there’s more, I say…

Monarch, peacock, swallowtail,
Painted Lady, Painted Male …

Their colors rival rainbow hues
With reds, greens, oranges, and blues.

And yet these Lepidoptera
(in colors quite show stop-tera)

Are color-blind. They only see
Red, yellow, green. (Those colors three.)

Which means our insect stud won’t notice
Femmes all tarted like a lotus.

He’d never know if future mate
Had changed wing-color for their date

Or if some Lepidoptera
Wore colors quite show stop-tera.

But when approaching traffic lights
On sunny morns or murky nights

A butterfly would always know
To slow, to stop, and then to go.

Bracelet and earrings right here.

Now about that chance to win these...

...all you have to do is leave a comment.  Then, on April 29th, 2011, at 5 PM PDT, Gilda (who is a big fan of butterflies)...

... will dip her paw into the beaded hat and pull out a winner.  Be sure to leave contact information with your comment (website, email, etc.) so Gilda and the butterflies can find you.

Rocco Winners (Probably Not You)

I haven’t done many giveaways here because I was never sure of the best way to pick winners.

On my last contest, I had the participants make up their own rules and then follow them, but some of the entrants made such self-serving “rules” that they’d be the only ones that could possibly win. The nerve!

Then I had the idea of constructing life-sized cutouts to represent each person entering the giveaway, and then settling it the way they did in ancient times: with a game of dodge ball. It was a lot of work to pick winners… but an exceptional arm workout!

But then I downloaded a random number generator app and it helped me pick the two winners of my Rocco DiSpirito/Jacko DiSh*ttio Giveaway: Brandi (A Life Change: My Journey to Happiness) and Robby (Fat Girl Vs. World). They'll each be receiving an autographed copy of Rocco's newest cookbook. Congrats, ladies!

I’m also using the random number generating app to determine how much of my mortgage payment I’m going to make and what kids’ allowances should be. There’s nothing quite like randomnoisity!

Thanks to everyone for participating, and as Rocco DiSpirito would say “Thanks to everyone for participating!”

The Rocco DiSpirito/Jacko DiSh*ttio Giveaway

I really hope that this doesn’t sound gay, but I’m hot for Rocco DiSpirito.

No, I don’t mean that I’m attracted to his roguish good looks or that I want to go out dancing with him, though he is a rather attractive man and looks to be an excellent dancer from the commercials I saw when he was on that star-dancing TV show.

No, I’m exhibiting a man-crush on Rocco because he’s helping shatter the stereotype that the only thing men can cook are dead animals charred on the grill. As a celebrity chef and cookbook author, he’s broken new ground for guys who want to show that they know their way around a kitchen. I’d have done it myself, but I can’t find a publisher interested in my proposed cookbook Dishes Too Spicy for Your Family.

In his new book Now Eat This!, Chef Rocco has created a ton of low-calorie versions of favorite recipes, including Chocolate Mousse (originally 455 calories, now down to 145),  Jalapeno Poppers at only 144 calories (vs. the original at 447), Loaded Nachos (down from 880 calories to 341) and Buffalo & Blue Chicken Tenders (at a fourth of their original calorie count).

That’s why I went out of my way to track down Rocco and see if he and I could do a little something-something over here. After all, we’re both celebrities. He’s a celebrity because he’s been on TV and written best-selling cookbooks; I’m a celebrity because I have a warped sense of reality.

Actually, Rocco’s PR team got hold of me and were interested in me running a contest where I gave a couple of lucky readers signed copies of his newest cookbook, which showcases 150 options for eating favorite no-no foods the healthy way. As an added bonus, he even includes healthy tips and ingredient substitutions that will keep you on track towards your healthy living goals.

The only mandatories were that I had to make the contest last a week, had to discriminate against everyone not living in the United States of America and couldn’t reveal that Rocco DiSpirito’s real name is Howard Higgenbottom.



Winning your own signed copy of Now Eat This! signed by Chef Rocco DiSpirito himself couldn’t be easier; simply leave a comment on this post or tweet me (and include “Rocco”) at @JackSht. But you’ve got to do it before Tuesday, February 8th. I’ll pick 2 winners (U.S. Residents only, sorry) to receive the book and announce them a week from today.

If you don’t win the cookbook, rest easy because Rocco shares healthy tips and recipes from both his Twitter account and his Facebook page. It’s like having a celebrity chef cheering you on towards your healthier self!

So enter now and eat the healthy 

Rocco DiSpirito/Jacko DiSh*ttio way!

Sh*tty Sh*tty Pop Chip (with Givewaway!)

Sh*tJactacus: 

Don’t put your lips on some greasy-ass chips,
Don’t eat those Ruffles or Cheetos.
If you seek a better snack, listen to your buddy Jack,
And put aside the Pringles and Fritos.
A mouth full of crunch.
Something excellent to munch.
Enjoy it with your lunch!


Pop Chips!

Pop Chips!
The chips that aren’t fried, best you ever tried.

Pop Chips!

Pop Chips!
The eatable, tweetable chips!



Truly Scrumptious: 

Pop Chips!

Pop Chips!
Their fantastic chips, see, all tasty and crispy!
Pop Chips!

Pop Chips!
No longer need chips be crap!



Sh*tJactacus:

 Don't waste your salaries on chips fulla calories

.

Truly: 

So be smart and try to always copy us!
If you seek perfection in your snack selection,



Sh*tJactacus: 

Well, choose the chips that are the poppiest!



Truly:
That mouth full of sassiness.

Sh*tJactacus:
The chip that brings happiness.



Both: 

That low-fat foodstuff supreme!

Pop Chips!

Pop Chips!
A nice crispy crackle, ingredients all-natural.
Pop Chips!

Pop Chips!
I think I’ll eat a whole sackful.



Mr. Scrumptious: 

No--take them away!



Truly: 
Father, please!

Mr. Scrumptious: 
Crunch! Hmm-Hmm. Crunch!

Sh*tJactacus:
He likes it!



Cast: 
Hooray!



Sh*tJactacus: 

They’ll ease your starvation

.

Truly: 

Without fat saturation.



Kids: 

They’re the best kind of chips you can munch

.

Sh*tJactacus:
Eat ‘em Sundays through Saturdays.



Truly: 

They have way less calories!



Kids: 

And flavors? Well, they sure have a bunch!



Sh*tJactacus and Truly: 

There’s no chips that are similar

.

Women: 
We love Salt and Vinegar!



Kids and factory workers: 

It’s time to give them a crunch!

(Dance break)



All: 

Pop Chips!
Pop Chips!

Pop Chips!
Pop Chips!



Sh*tJactacus:

That savory snack

!

Truly: 

Just listen to Jack

!

All: 

And put them into your lunch sack!


Pop Chips!
Pop Chips!
They’re awesome and then some, just comment to win some!
Pop Chips!

Pop Chips!

The treat that's so tweetable (@popchips) 
deliciously eatable,
with that unbeatable crunch!

It's a Miracle for Hanukkah...

...I've giving a EatSmart scale to Monica!

She won a free scale, courtesy of my friends at EatSmart. 

Thanks to everyone who participated in my contest.

Monica, come claim your prize!

"This Scale Was Meant For Weighin'" Giveaway

 

The people at EatSmart sent something to me.

A brand new digital scale for me to review.
I’ve been weighin’ more than I’ve usually been a weighin’,
And that’s why I’m in such a horrible mood.

This scale was made for weighing, and that’s just what it’ll do
.
Unfortunately it said my weight was two hundred twenty-two.

I keep gaining, when I oughta be losin’,
But I guess that ain’t this fancy new scale’s fault
.
It’s got EatSmart “Step-On™” technology,
But that won’t bring this gainin’ to a halt.

This scale was made for weighing, and that’s just what it’ll do
.
If it had given me a loss, this’d be a much better review.

A high-quality tempered glass platform,
With workmanship that's undisputed.
Just step on for an instant measurement.
(The batteries are even included!)

This scale was made for weighing, and that’s just what it’ll do.

If you’d like to win one, well I'd like to give one to you...

• 
Leave a comment on this post
• Follow EatSmart on Twitter @EatSmartScales 
• LIKE EatSmart Products on Facebook 
  
  
  
  Wait! There's more! Click here to enter a giveaway for a free EatSmart kitchen scale (it weighs your food, not your kitchen, dumbass!). What can I say? It's the season of giving...

Winners, Winners Everywhere!

If you missed my Cheesy Giveaway post the other day, I can't begin to tell you how much you suck.

Besides sucking, you missed out on the chance to win free cheese coupons by simply giving yourself a cheese-inspired name like these folks did...

Untypically Brie(a) (Untipically Jia)
VelVEEta (Vee Getting Healthy)
Colby “Jack” (Colby)
Roxiefort (Roxie)
Angela P-Edam (Angela Pea)
Liver alone Cheese a Terra (Terra)
Outdoor MOMzerella (Outdoor Mom)
John is Feta (John is Fit)



Winners, contact me with your address and I'll send your cheese coupon out to you via ChedEx (that's a pretty weak joke, but I'll do cheddar next time).

Speaking of prizes, I'm still trying to track down the winner of my DirectLife activity monitor giveaway. I'm looking for the "Jessica" that left this comment:

Dear Directlife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galvan Puente-
I am a nurse. Let me clarify I am a fat emergency room nurse. Do you know how hard it is to help someone change their life when they are looking at you thinking "Yeah I'll quit smoking those cigs when you lose some weight tubby". Plus I don't get to pee during my 12 hour shift let alone figure out how much physical activity I am doing. I know lots of nurses secretly wonder how many calories we are burning giving shots in the butt. Just think not only would you be helping me but maybe hundreds no thousands of people. They will look at at that healthy fit nurse giving them discharge instructions and think "Maybe if she can do it so can I". 

Thanks to everyone who participated in both giveaways, and special thanks to the marketing professionals who got fired for sending me stuff to do giveaway posts. Your sacrifice has not been in vain (well, yeah, it pretty much was, come to think of it...)

Cheese Are The Days, My Friend

Finally... a DirectLife Winner!

A few days ago, I ran a contest giving away a Philips DirectLife activity monitor with subscription to a reader who could most passionately communicate their desire for said device. DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente took his own sweet time in judging the entries, however I'll cut him some slack since I didn't really tell him I was going to make him judge it.

Dear Jack,

I hope this email finds you doing well. First of all, at DirectLife we are really happy to have read all this stories.

Together with coach José (http://blog.directlife.philips.com/coach-jose/) and coach Jen we went through the posts.

Looking at the benefits of our program (http://www.directlife.philips.com/benefits/) we were really happy to see stories matching the kind of user DirectLife is designed for.

We have chosen this post for this competition, but please feel free to organize two more competitions in the remaining of 2010:

Dear Directlife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galvan Puente-
I am a nurse. Let me clarify I am a fat emergency room nurse. Do you know how hard it is to help someone change their life when they are looking at you thinking "Yeah I'll quit smoking those cigs when you lose some weight tubby". Plus I don't get to pee during my 12 hour shift let alone figure out how much physical activity I am doing. I know lots of nurses secretly wonder how many calories we are burning giving shots in the butt. Just think not only would you be helping me but maybe hundreds no thousands of people. They will look at at that healthy fit nurse giving them discharge instructions and think "Maybe if she can do it so can I". 

Active regards from the DirectLife team, Jack!

Antonio.

______________________________________________

Antonio Galván Puente
Junior Market Intelligence Analyst

So Jessica, email me your shipping info and claim your DirectLife activity monitor.

 

I Think We Have a Winner!

So many of you have entered the drawing for the Cornerstoregoddess bracelet in lovely shade of orange.



First Uncle Buck wrote each entry on a scrap of paper.  She doesn't write very well, so she asked George to help her.



She couldn't find the beaded hat, so she put the entries into a shoe.  (Uncle Buck likes shoes.)  Then she got up on the top of the stairs and posed while pondering how to jump into the shoe.



At last she leapt into the shoe...



...and pulled out a winner.



And the winner is...



(wait for it)...

Ericka Wildgirl Dana!

Uncle Buck and George are doing a high-five on your behalf!

Ericka, email me and confirm your shipping info and your beautiful bracelet will be on its way!

Thanks to all whom participated.  Uncle Buck reminds you to keep the Halloween spirit and have a great season!  (More autumnal goodies in the store to keep you happy until the next giveaway.)