Cooking with Jack: Quesadill-icious!

Welcome to "Cooking with Jack," the cooking show with more flavor and less video. Today's special dish is "Spicy Corn Quesadillas". It should be noted that my recipe is remarkably similar to the one in Moosewood Cooks at Home with a few changes. Actually, all the measurements are doubled in my version, so it's radically different, if you ask me.

 
First, you're gonna want to take a couple of onions and cut them up. Since cutting up onions can make you cry, use my handy invention, The Extendablizing Knife.

 
It's pretty technical, but if you're interested, I can sell you blueprints for how you can make your own.

 
Now grab that bottle of vegetable oil from your bedside table.

 

Add a few galoomps of oil (a "galoomp" is roughly a tablespoon... measuring stuff is overrated).

 
And some garlic. A few cloves or, if you're as lazy as I am, a few squirts of squeezy garlic.

 
Next grate up a couple of carrots. I think carrots taste better if you use a really pretty grater, don't you?

 
*Insert your own carrot/lovely grater lady joke here.*

 
Now... take one of what I refer to as "El Diablo".

 
Now, saute it all up over medium heat until the onions are translucentated.

 
Add two pounds of frozen corn. (Uninteresting fact about corn: an ear of corn averages 800 kernels in 16 rows).

 
Add two pounds of coriander (actually, 2 tbs... I was just seeing if you were paying attention).

 
Four heapin' tbs of ground cumin. It was a superstition during the Middle Ages that cumin kept chickens and lovers from wandering.

And a dash of cayenne heat.

 You're supposed to add some fresh cilantro, but this is optional. I've hated cilantro my whole life, but Anita has always used it liberally in her cooking, until finally she realized 15 or 20 years later than I hate it. Only all that time of actually eating it has made me un-hate it somewhat. So it's your call...

Salt and pepper to taste (I'm sick of telling you how much of everything to put everywhere...)

 Now add it all together and cook for five minutes or so.

 Add two to three cups of cheese (preferably one with "Jack" in the name).

 

 Remove from heat and put a top on the pot. It should look something like this...

 Now I get to use the sweet-ass olive oil mister I got from Santa.

 
You just pump, pump, pump and...

 

...and then it shoots out olive oil mist? Wait... that's it? That's all it does?

 

Now take a big tortilla...

 

And slap some of the corn crap inside.

 

Fold it over and place it in a lightly-misted skillet.

 

Now cook it on medium heat until bottom starts to brown, then flip it over and cook until...

...it looks cooked. That's it! You did it! Well, technically I did it, but I couldn't have done it without you. Actually, I could, would and have done it without you, but now you can make it yourself!
Great with guacamole, sour cream and salsa.

Next on "Cooking with Jack": Jack fries up everything in the house!