Learn from My Mistakes…

• For some reason, almost all overweight African-American women get upset when you call them “Precious”
  
• Only one person to a treadmill at the gym
  
• It doesn’t help to get salad dressing on the side if you get three cups of it and use it all
  
• All your clothes didn’t suddenly shrink in the wash
  
• Brushing your teeth with Dr. Pepper isn’t such a good idea
  
• A caramel apple a day doesn’t necessarily keep the doctor away
  
• If you eat a meal replacement bar, you need to NOT eat a meal
  
• There is no such thing as one bite of movie theater popcorn
  
• Fun-size candy bars = No-fun-size thighs
  
• A good running shoe can help you lose weight instantly… in your wallet
  
• It’s not a good idea to skip breakfast… unless you’re planning on having a giant plate of s’mores
  
• There is no place on the Emergency Room medical form to check off for “kettlebell knee”
  
• Wheatgrass is a superfood; Laffy Taffy is not
  
• Personal trainers generally don’t like to be paid with a bucket of loose change
  
• Playing Bejeweled for eight hours is not the same as sleeping for eight hours
  
• You’re probably supposed to eat 2,000 calories per day, not 20,000
  
• Free samples aren’t necessarily free
  
• Most employers don’t recognize a “Vitamin D break,” so I guess you need to take up smoking in order to get a little sunlight during the day
  
• Even though it looks dorky, it’s probably better to use proper hand signals when biking than simply waving your arms around in all directions like a crazy person
  
  
  
  
  
  
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