Livin' the DirectLife (Pssst... Here's Your Chance to Win)

Surely you already know this (and sorry to call you Shirley), but I've been carrying around a little Philips DirectLife activity monitor in my pocket for months. It tells me if (I mean, when) I've met my daily activity goals and it allows DirectLife Coach Jen to always know exactly where I am and what I'm doing (I'm just assuming that part). Along my journey with my little DirectLife doodad, I've made a lot of friends...

Dear Jack,

I hope this email finds you doing well. This is Antonio Galván from the DirectLife marketing department. I just wanted to check in to see how you are doing and how things with your DirectLife programs are progressing?

What are your thoughts? How do you like it so far? Don’t hesitate to let me know if I can do anything to enhance your experience as a blogger participating in the DirectLife program.
 
Active regards,
Antonio.


Well, if it isn't DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente. Isn't it about time you got a promotion anyway? I bet all the other Market Intelligence Analysts give you the business about that “Junior” part.

Some dude wants to send me a free Gruve montior to take on a test drive, but I don't know. I'm passionately in like with DirectLife Coach Jen, and you’ve always been a good guy, too (not like that bastard DirectLife Coach José... oh, I hate him so...). What do you think I oughta do? I mean, you know I'm partial to the Philips gizmo, but you gotta admit that “Gruve” is a better name. Why didn't you guys let me name the activity monitor anyway?

I do have one question you might be able to answer for me:  I'm in the process of changing to a new laptop (it’s a long story, but suffice it to say that bathtub blogging is no longer permitted in the Sh*t household), and my new machine doesn't recognize the activity monitor when I plug it into the USB drive. Did I get a CD when I received it or did I download it from your site? Are you interested in buying my old laptop; it still works perfectly fine (except for the occasional spark or two).

I hope you’re doing well, too, Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente. My best wishes to you and your lovely wife Rosa and your kids Petey and Joanna (I'm totally guessing on all this family stuff, but that's really something if it turns out I'm right, huh?)

Take care,

Jack


Dear Jack,

Thanks for your answer. I have forwarded the question regarding your new laptop to our Support team and I am sure they will have the right answer.

The family guess is indeed close to reality Jack ;)

Active regards,
Antonio.

Dear DirectLife Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván Puente,

Twenty minutes ago, the hotshots from Philips Tech Support actually busted through my skylight, rappelled down and reloaded the DirectLife software on my new laptop (they said to send you the bill for the busted skylight).

I knew I was close on the family stuff; I've been seeing a psychiatrist for a couple of years and I think it's helping me get more and more psychic.

Thanks for your help,

Jack


Dear Jack,

This is Junior Market Intelligence Analyst, Antonio Galván, with a proposal for you.

Since we first invited you, we have followed your blog and we are very impressed with the way in which you engage your friends and followers who sure see you as an inspiration for weight loss and lifestyle.

We are happy to offer you up to three DirectLife packages for three coming competitions you have in mind. We previously did something similar with Tony and it was good to see that the reward inspired some followers to run 5K.

Please let me know if you think this is an offer interesting for you and we can organize the details.

Active regards from the DirectLife team,

Antonio.

Well, Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván, my first thought was that I could actually use three more activity monitors myself. I was thinking that it might quadruple my own activity level knowing that my levels were being tracked by four separate devices.

But then I started thinking about selfishness... and how my selfish family would all demand that I give them one of my precious activity monitors. What good would that do me, Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván?

So I had a completely different idea: what if I used up to three DirectLife packages for three coming competitions I have in mind? I like it!

Let's make this happen, Junior Market Intelligence Analyst Antonio Galván!

Take care,

Jáck

Dear Jack,

Thanks a lot for your answer. Let’s do it this way: feel free to organize any three competitions in the rest of the year and announce that the price will be a DirectLife with a four-month membership.

Then, once you know who the winner is you can send us her/his email address where we will send the invitation email for registration. The winner will receive DirectLife in her/his mailbox in no later than five business days.

Thanks again and enjoy the rest of the weekend,

Antonio.

If you made it this far, then here’s your reward…

ANNOUNCING THE FIRST OF THREE CONTESTS FOR A FREE DIRECTLIFE ACTIVITY MONITOR WITH A FOUR-MONTH MEMBERSHIP… ONE COMMENT ON TODAY’S POST WILL BE RANDOMLY CHOSEN BY DIRECTLIFE JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE AS THE PRIZE WINNER. PLEASE ADDRESS ALL COMMENTS TO HIM, BUT BE SURE AND PASSIONATELY DESCRIBE YOUR DESIRE FOR THIS DEVICE, BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING THAT JUNIOR MARKET INTELLIGENCE ANALYST ANTONIO GALVÁN PUENTE RESPONDS TO, IT IS RAW, UNBRIDLED PASSION.

I'M SORRY, MY CAPLOCK BUTTON IS STUCK AND I DON'T KNOW HOW to... oh, there it goes... good luck and may God have mercy on your souls (I just really like the way that sounds...)